A couple of years ago, I was going through a drastic life change. I had left my job in January, it was almost April, I didn’t have a new job and no prospects either. At this point, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I knew life needed to change for me and my family. I didn’t really want to continue in healthcare and I was pretty much burnt out on leadership. At this point, I just wanted God to drop millions of dollars in my lap so I didn’t have to work any longer. I was volunteering at the church, almost full time. This brought me great joy but I didn’t feel like this is where God wanted me. I was waiting for an answer…yet again in my life, I was waiting. I tried my best to not be frustrated with God. He had moved me from where I was but there wasn’t anywhere for me to go next.
One Sunday morning, my in-laws and I are at church listening to Pastor J preach. It wasn’t the sermon that I was listening to; yes, I probably should have been, but I wasn’t. I was waiting for God to reveal something deep to me. I was looking for that big answer, that miraculous moment where I said “Ta-da, yes this is what God wants me to do next”. Well, it didn’t happen like that. I was sitting there quietly in my mind and heart having a conversation with God. “Why did you move me from that job without something else to go to?”, “Why has it been over 2 months and you still haven’t delivered me?”, “What are you thinking?”, “What do I do next?”, “Where am I going?”….and the questions just went on. You know those questions. The ones that you expect to have answered but they rarely are answered like we want. Well, out of nowhere, I hear this “build it and they will come”. I’m like, “What? Are you kidding me? What do you mean, build it… Build WHAT? I’m not Noah! ‘Build it’, are you crazy”. So the sermon goes on and still to this day, I couldn’t tell you what he was preaching because I was off in my own world. A few LONG moments later, I hear it again and the reaction is the same. Then it came to me, all the ideas flooded my mind of a home office. I had the location in house, the paint colors for the wall, the desk, all the details down to how it would be arranged and when to do it….immediately. Now, let me tell you, when I had that feeling that I needed to stop at Lowes after church and seriously look at what I was getting myself into… the big question came to mind; “How in the world am I going to pay for this?”. This is a total remodel of a room. Again, I am not working a paid job, we have limited funds and now I’m going to spend 600+ dollars that I didn’t have. Well folks, God does not check the balance of your checkbook or savings before asking you to commit, he checks your heart. The only thing I can say is be obedient. So that’s what I did. I went to Lowes, found out it was going to be more like $700 to start. “Ok, God, here we go. I hope you’ve go this because I sure don’t!!!” That leap of faith you say you will do but when it comes you’re like….Whoa, hold on just a second let me take a deep breath first. I get home, clean out the room….completely. I start measuring. I go back to Lowes, get the paint. Start painting. The room comes together a lot quicker than I planned or even thought it would. Let me tell you, my handy man skills at this point are very minimal. I can paint but that’s about it. Well, next was the desk. I figured out it was cheaper to buy a counter-top and a couple of filing cabinets then it was to buy a desk the size I would need. So back to Lowes…. the counter top I had picked out was double what I estimated so I went for a cheaper version. It worked out great too because they had it in stock and I wouldn’t have to wait. You getting that I don’t like to wait… because I don’t. The boys and I take the counter top home and I am left with figuring out how this is going to go up and how I’m going to make it work. Frank and I have had several conversations about this “office”. He doesn’t understand why I am doing it and quiet frankly he is frustrated with me. He thinks I won’t finish the project….well let’s face it my track record in the past has been just that. I did not share with him what God had laid in my lap just the Sunday prior. We are a little over a week into the project and it is almost finished. I move the computer from the other room, pull out all of my desk organization stuff from where I had packed it away in January and TA-DA, it’s done. I sit down and start praying…in my new office. “Ok, God, it’s built, now what?” The conversation goes on, it’s a one way conversation, and it is all centered around “what’s next?”. There is silence, nothing coming back.
So I go on about my days. I continue to volunteer at church. We have Easter coming up and the church is busy which means I am busy. I love what I am doing, it feels good but it’s not paying the bills. It’s been a couple of weeks now, Easter has past and everything is kind of settling down. One afternoon, I get on Pinterest and search jobs at home, there were so many that came up. I then look on InDeed, same thing, coding jobs at home. I can’t tell you how many I applied for, it wasn’t many. I submitted my resume and hoped for the best. It’s like throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall just to see what sticks. One night, I decide to go in my office….late, and clean out my inbox. Well, there was an email just a week or so before wanting to know my interest in a job. I reply, praying that I’m not too late. It pretty much came a couple of days after Easter. The next morning, I get a response. We set up an interview. I do a phone interview, first time I’ve ever done this like this. I was so nervous…so I prayed. “God, if this is where you want me let the doors open. You promise that you will open doors that no man can shut.” It wan’t pretty and I was sobbing but it way my heart and all of it. I repeated Revelation 3:7-8, What door God opens, no man can shut and what door God shuts, no man may open; and Matthew 7:7-8, Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened for you… The interview comes and goes. The next day, I get another phone call to set up a second interview. That interview comes and goes. The next morning I get a call with the job offer. I didn’t even give them the line of “well, let me talk to my husband and I’ll get back to you”. I just said, “yes, can I start in May?” The answer, “yes, that would work out perfect.” I was able to pay off all that I put in my office, the first month. The rest is history, I just celebrated my 2nd year with them.
Let me just say, when God moves you, trust it. When God asks you to wait, wait and wait patiently….it is always worth it. I left a job that I was driving an hour each way, paying for child care for both boys, it was stressful and very taxing mentally/emotionally. I didn’t have a life because I was working 8 hours, plus 2 hours on the road. I was exhausted at the end of the day. To a job that I work from home, set my hours (for the most part), almost double what I made previously, no travel, no child care expense….and a lot of other expenses cut out. Now, folks, that is FAVOR, that is a BLESSING, that is the GOD I serve! Let me encourage you today, if you are waiting on an answer, start having those conversations with God….he does answer, you have to be listening. When he answers, be obedient. He will call you out to deep waters and test your faith, but he will NEVER leave you. Though the whole ordeal, I never believed or even thought for a second he left me. I also had peace beyond all understanding. I may have been frustrated a time or two and I was definitely impatient but my soul was at peace. That is how I knew I was doing what God wanted me to do. I wasn’t at an “unrest” internally, I wasn’t battling within myself about whether this is the right step or shouldn’t I be working. Was it hard, yes it was, I was looking at the checkbook and seeing close to zero dollars but God always provided. I was having hard talks with my husband about money and how we were going to make it and that is never fun.
Let me know how this encouraged you today. Do you have a story similar? Has God called you out and your on the fence? If so, contact me, I am happy to talk it through and pray with you.